Little Surprises

Yesterday I threw a little socially distanced 60th surprise party for my momma🥳

Mom watches my Insta Stories so I couldn’t share it with you. I know you can hide your Story from certain people but I was too paranoid she would somehow see so I didn’t share😂

With the help of my brother and my mum’s partner to coordinate keeping it a secret (and my brother helping me pick dessert flavors 😄), she got to celebrate with 3 of her best friends.🤫

I didn’t take any photos except for the food but it was all a hit!! A big thank you especially to @thegrazecompany for your amazing charcuterie box and @cakesnsweets_ for the delicious lemon and taro cupcakes, and earl grey macarons😍

May Grounded Gratitude Day 30

My friends – today has been an informative day!🌟

Day 1 of Gem Conference wrapped up a little bit ago – I am SO pleased I made the decision to purchase a ticket last minute. The wealth of information and knowledge of the speakers has been incredible. I got involved, joined in the chat feature, interacted with folks, made some new connections here on Instagram based off those interactions – overall I’m really happy and grateful that I put myself out there and joined in on the fun and learning! 😊

I’m also grateful for (and something which I seem to notice when out for my daily walk) how curious I get about nature. Leaving my phone at home especially allows for me to interact and engage with nature by getting curious.💭

I ask myself questions, I get curious about certain things I see: “How come leaves can grow different patterns? At what rate does a baby Canadian goose grow? Why is there a certain smell when it rains? Why do we find that so relaxing and refreshing?”🌿

It’s healthy to get curious and it’s healthy to interact and get out into nature – I encourage you to do both of these things as restrictions continue to lift! 😁

Have a lovely Saturday evening.🌟

May Grounded Gratitude Day 28

Hi all – today’s Grounded Gratitude is here 🌟

Exciting things that happened to me today – I submitted a job application, received my Saje order, and applied for meditation teacher training with @the_lab_of_meditation 👏🏻

I’m excited about the potential opportunity to expand my knowledge on a subject I am very passionate about (as I know a lot of you are too) and to be able to teach others this practice which has helped me greatly in my daily life. What’s more, the decision to apply was so clear in my mind. There were no “what-if” moments or questioning my ability or self-doubt. Yay to being brave and just going for it 😄

Tonight some girlfriends and I are having a group video chat too – all in all a great day – hope you had a great day too✌🏻

May Grounded Gratitude Day 25

Hi friends! Hope you all had a great start to your Monday. Today’s blog post was supposed to come out, but I just got busy doing other things and time slipped away, and it didn’t happen. I feel proud of myself for having been so consistent with posting so far (every Monday!), so I shall allow myself this one time as a grace period. Tomorrow it shall be published!

A week or so ago, I entered into a draw for a free tarot card reading by Lynn of Gentle Guidance Tarot on Instagram. I didn’t win, but had been planning to enter her draw again come the next month. I received a message from her yesterday (kind of strange timing as those accounts who follow me closely will know it was a bit of an odd, sad day), that she’s going to do my reading for free the following day (today!). As a way to promote her readings and her services, Lynn is offering for anyone who is interested, their first reading for free so they can experience a reading and get a feel for working with her. From there if people decide they wish for more readings, they can pursue her paid option. I told her what I wanted to focus the reading on, and woke up this morning to a lovely 20 minute clip from her explaining my tarot cards.

I haven’t had a chance to fully sit down and take in and listen to the reading (it’s just been a wack, busy day, and time got away), but I plan to fully immerse myself this evening.

On another note, my avocado seed seems to be growing – fingers crossed, my plant saga continues….

May Grounded Gratitude Day 23

Grounded Gratitude Day 23 is here – happy Saturday!

My gal pal Abby helped me out with a little creative project this afternoon to do with my Instagram account (which will come out soon!). I’m grateful for her creative wizardry and her beautiful front garden where we shot photos.

⁠I’m working on a blog post which confronts an irrational fear of mine (hint hint – it has to do with turning a certain age, in a few years, and a certain relationship status I may or may not have by that age).

This weekend I am staying at my parents’ house while my brother is home for his birthday. I am grateful I am sleeping in a safe house in a safe bed this weekend – I don’t have a remote idea of the number of people who sleep in unsafe beds in unsafe locations each night and I’m grateful I don’t have to experience or live through that.

May Grounded Gratitude Day 22

Hey folks! I was picking up my brother from the airport this afternoon, hence why Day 22 is coming to you a little later today.


I was getting uber frustrated with a work project earlier on today, and had to fully stop and put it away because it was just stressing me out and making me more angry and upset than anything else. Glad I recognized that and took the right steps to calm myself down!⁠


I’ve been really appreciating my senses lately – the other day it was my sight, today it is taste. I think of the yummy breakfast I had this morning, my cup of coffee, my simple lunch of crackers and cheese, my regular snack of pb toast with banana – how many delicious foods I eat on a daily basis that I get to enjoy and indulge in the taste.


What foods are you grateful you are able to taste and enjoy? Let me know in the comments below!

Thank you for reading as always. If you liked what you read, give my post a like, hit the Follow button on the top right-hand corner of this post, and turn on post-notifications, so you never miss an LE blog post! Don’t forget to join my monthly email list by signing up below, for updates, bonus content, and recommendations from yours truly!

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

May Grounded Gratitude Day 21

Grounded Gratitude Day 21!🌟


I was out for my daily walk the other day and saw a bunch of baby geese and duckies out and about and it made me happy because it meant Spring time is here. It also made me happy because people were respecting them and keeping their distance. Not that you’d want to buck heads with a Canadian goose – ack – aggressive af!😬

My brother is coming home for his birthday this weekend, I’m planning to create and schedule a bunch of content tomorrow so I don’t have to think about it over the weekend.💌


Another exciting thing is that in British Columbia here🇨🇦 we’ve launched Phase 2 of reopening the economy, meaning we’ll be able to go out to eat here again soon enough 😄

May Grounded Gratitude Day 18

Day 18 of Grounded Gratitude is here 🌟

For those who are new to following me, hey I’m Lindsay! This is my account 🙂

I write a lot about unhealthy mental ruts I have dealt with (overthinking, negative self-zealous, abandonment issues) but I also regularly post my Grounded Gratitude practice.👏🏻

Grounded Gratitude is a commitment that every day of quarantine/social distancing, I post 3 things I am grateful for ✨

Talk Healthy To Me: My Experience and Solutions to Negative Self-Talk

Talk Healthy To Me: My Experience and Solutions to Negative Self-Talk

“She’d sit for hours doing her homework

Is the response you could expect to receive from my mother if you asked her who was the more diligent child: My younger brother or I. In elementary school, I would come home and spend most of my afternoons studying, completing homework, and working on school tasks. My brother on the other hand, barely opened his books, yet still managed to pass all his classes. No resentment there. In my mind I was just being a good student, wanting to turn in quality work.

Credit – Giphy

I maintained this work ethic well into high school and throughout university. A Top All Around Student Award in high school, valedictorian of my high school graduating class, a scholarship in college. Sometime during my younger years though, I developed a hardened sense of self-discipline. Where it came from, and why I developed it, I don’t really know, though I do have some theories. However, I can recall a pivotal moment when my hardened self-discipline crossed the line into self-punishment. I was 8.

Negative Self-Talk rears it’s ugly head

In Grade 3, during one of the standard parent-teacher conferences (parents meet with their kid’s teacher to discuss educational performance, classroom etiquette, their offspring being a little shit, you name it), my teacher pulled my mum aside to tell her he had heard me call myself stupid. I didn’t do well, or something did not go the way I had wanted it to, but I had been swift and harsh in punishing my little 8 year old self … and had been caught doing it.

Now, I would consider self-discipline to be a fairly admirable trait. But when it’s to the extent you have an 8 year old calling herself stupid because she didn’t do well, it goes from admirable to horrifying pretty friggin’ fast.

To this day, I don’t remember the incident, or calling myself stupid and I don’t believe my teacher would make up such a heinous tale (in my free time I like to tell lies to the parents of children I teach), but it seems I have blocked the event out of my memory. I do remember mum crying when she told me about the conversation once we were home. She took it hard and she took it personally, and interpreted it as though she had failed as a parent.

I notice it more now as an aware adult but she’s been self-critical of herself in the past too, so it’s possible I picked slivers of this trait up from her along the way, throughout my youthdom – not entirely sure that’s a word, but I just used it so hah – deal with it.

I can only speak from my lived experience and my upbringing but when you are 8 and you see your parents cry in front of you, it feels a bit like the sky is falling: You don’t know why it’s happening, you know it’s real bad, you know it shouldn’t be happening and it scares you.

Credit – Giphy

I can’t say my years in high school, through college and university weren’t completely free of my hardened self-discipline either. I always strive to do and be the best I can, but have noticed within my personality (and have had people tell me before) that I am extremely hard on myself.

This negative self-talk has also seeped into romantic relationships, having had a detrimental impact to my connection with past partners. Of course within this context, I believe the negative self-talk to also be a result of low self-esteem and insecurities, but it also includes being unnecessarily hard on myself over trivial matters.

Time I Had a Conversation with Myself

I find it interesting, really. I place pressure on myself to try to do my best and be my best, to be top-notch in my work and how I am as a person, then stress and beat myself up when I don’t hit the target. However, if there was someone in my life who expected perfection out of me, that’s not the type of person I would want to have as a presence in my life. Perfection is unattainable, stressful and unrealistic – if someone were to place those expectations on me, you can bet money on it that i’d metaphorically drop-kick them out of my life.

The same goes for the negative words I call myself on occasion. I can call myself, an “idiot”, “stupid”, “bitch” without batting an eye. But I don’t call my friends those names. So why should I be calling myself those names? At the end of the day, I am my own friend, too. Likewise, if someone were to call me those names, I’d think twice about wanting to spend time with them, and would probably slowly distance myself.

Credit – Giphy

So if I can recognize that a person who expects perfection out of me and/or calls me cruel names, doesn’t have my best interests in mind, then how is it acceptable for me to be placing myself on a pedestal built out of unrealistic expectations and unhealthy self-talk? All in order for me to achieve the version of myself which I strive for, or for me to achieve the goals I set for myself? And when I miss the mark, it causes me stress and anxiety, rather than being able to let it go.

Obviously, I can’t distance myself from myself, as is the case if it were another person expecting and saying the above to me. However, the direction I now face, involves working with what I have and working through it, in order to achieve a more peaceful, positive relationship with myself.

Credit – Giphy

Solutions

1. Look at the Bigger Picture

When I find myself in a situation where I am feeling self-criticism coming on – perhaps I have made a mistake, I am not reaching my goals or my target or the expectations I have placed upon myself, I hone in on the bigger picture. For starters, literally reminding myself that nobody is perfect, including me. I also remind myself that everybody makes mistakes, that I will continue to make mistakes and they are just a part of life.

2. Speak Kindly to Yourself – Terms of Endearment

Next, I begin to speak kindly to myself. This starts by using terms of endearment when speaking to myself – girl, honey, dear, girlfriend, love, sweetheart. It takes a bit of getting used to, referring to yourself as “love”, but what this does is train my critical inner voice to speak more kindly to me. As I have discovered when applying this, my inner voice has a hard time being critical when I speak to myself in a kind and loving manner. Alternatively, I start my sentences with one of the terms of endearment outlined above, before my mind has the chance to go on a negative self-talk rampage. It also improves my relationship with myself. As I said above, I am my own friend, too, so speaking to myself as my friends and I speak to each other, helps strengthen my bond with myself.

3. Forgive Instead of Criticize

I used to beat myself up after I would beat myself up – meaning I would engage with negative self-talk, then get upset with myself for stooping to such a low level. Then I would berate myself again, hold onto it and think about it for longer than the action or thought deserved. Nowadays, rather than jump straight to self-criticism, I am actively training my mind to jump to forgiveness instead. In moments when my brain is quick to judge and to make me feel like crap, I bring myself back to a level of forgiveness. Forgiving myself for making a mistake, forgiving myself for getting stressed out, and forgiving myself in cases when I do use negative self-talk.

By forgiving myself, I am able to engage with all parts of the process, I become proactive in recognizing my detrimental behavior, but even further I allow myself the space and the permission to let the behavior go. I continue to speak kindly to myself, I use terms of endearment, I acknowledge the situation, and forgive:

“Girlfriend, I said some pretty horrible things about myself back there. I know I was in a place of stress, but I recognize that is not an excuse to speak to myself as I did. I acknowledge I made a mistake and mistakes happen to all of us – I forgive myself for using that language when referring to my character and myself as a person.” In this case I used the word “I” to refer to myself, but you can also replace it with “you”.

4. Be Present & Mindful
Credit – Giphy

While mistakes are bound to happen, when I am present and my attention is fully on the task at hand, less mistakes are made. When I used to talk negatively about myself, I’d often not even notice I was doing it. Now I’m working to be more in control of myself, and living more so in the present, enough to notice when my mind (or my mouth) starts spitting out ugly phrases directed back at me.

Not only am I present enough to recognize my own negative self-talk – i’m more attune to honing in on my when my loved ones and friends do it. As I mentioned earlier, I’ve picked up on how my mum has been self-critical of herself in the past. But, it’s honestly astonishing at how many people I care about in my life, belittle themselves, and don’t even know they’re doing it. I make a point now, when they critique something about themselves or call themselves names, to say “no you’re not” or “that’s not true”. Even a small act such as this, despite it being a negating one, might help them to recognize the completely negative, completely false things they are saying about themselves.

5. Recognize Fault as an Opportunity for Learning – not an as Opportunity to Bash Yourself

Part of honing in on the bigger picture also means recognizing that not everything that goes wrong is my fault. As I have discussed before (you can read about it here), feelings of irrational fault are something I deal with and continue to work through. There have been many instances where I have felt like something was my fault, where my mind has launched into a tirade of self-criticism. Often times, these situations were not directly my fault – it was simply how the situation played out, or it was something out of my control.

Recognizing when legitimate fault is warranted, eliminates not only unnecessary negative self-talk, but also consistent feelings of guilty, as well as irrational feelings of fault. I am trying to be more mindful that fault is actually an opportunity to learn for next time – whatever it was you were at fault for, has happened. You can’t change that it happened, but you can ultimately change how you react to it – will you take it in stride and recognize it as a point of learning? Or will you recognize it as a moment to beat yourself up for what went wrong? This is what I am actively working on.

Thank you for reading as always. I hope you enjoyed reading about my experience with Negative Self-Talk and the Solutions I use to combat it! If you liked what you read, give my post a like, hit the Follow button on the top right-hand corner of this post, and turn on post-notifications, so you never miss an LE blog post! Don’t forget to join my monthly email list by signing up below, for updates, bonus content, and recommendations from yours truly!

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.