May Grounded Gratitude Day 30

My friends – today has been an informative day!🌟

Day 1 of Gem Conference wrapped up a little bit ago – I am SO pleased I made the decision to purchase a ticket last minute. The wealth of information and knowledge of the speakers has been incredible. I got involved, joined in the chat feature, interacted with folks, made some new connections here on Instagram based off those interactions – overall I’m really happy and grateful that I put myself out there and joined in on the fun and learning! 😊

I’m also grateful for (and something which I seem to notice when out for my daily walk) how curious I get about nature. Leaving my phone at home especially allows for me to interact and engage with nature by getting curious.💭

I ask myself questions, I get curious about certain things I see: “How come leaves can grow different patterns? At what rate does a baby Canadian goose grow? Why is there a certain smell when it rains? Why do we find that so relaxing and refreshing?”🌿

It’s healthy to get curious and it’s healthy to interact and get out into nature – I encourage you to do both of these things as restrictions continue to lift! 😁

Have a lovely Saturday evening.🌟

May Grounded Gratitude Day 28

Hi all – today’s Grounded Gratitude is here 🌟

Exciting things that happened to me today – I submitted a job application, received my Saje order, and applied for meditation teacher training with @the_lab_of_meditation 👏🏻

I’m excited about the potential opportunity to expand my knowledge on a subject I am very passionate about (as I know a lot of you are too) and to be able to teach others this practice which has helped me greatly in my daily life. What’s more, the decision to apply was so clear in my mind. There were no “what-if” moments or questioning my ability or self-doubt. Yay to being brave and just going for it 😄

Tonight some girlfriends and I are having a group video chat too – all in all a great day – hope you had a great day too✌🏻

May Grounded Gratitude Day 21

Grounded Gratitude Day 21!🌟


I was out for my daily walk the other day and saw a bunch of baby geese and duckies out and about and it made me happy because it meant Spring time is here. It also made me happy because people were respecting them and keeping their distance. Not that you’d want to buck heads with a Canadian goose – ack – aggressive af!😬

My brother is coming home for his birthday this weekend, I’m planning to create and schedule a bunch of content tomorrow so I don’t have to think about it over the weekend.💌


Another exciting thing is that in British Columbia here🇨🇦 we’ve launched Phase 2 of reopening the economy, meaning we’ll be able to go out to eat here again soon enough 😄

Talk Healthy To Me: My Experience and Solutions to Negative Self-Talk

Talk Healthy To Me: My Experience and Solutions to Negative Self-Talk

“She’d sit for hours doing her homework

Is the response you could expect to receive from my mother if you asked her who was the more diligent child: My younger brother or I. In elementary school, I would come home and spend most of my afternoons studying, completing homework, and working on school tasks. My brother on the other hand, barely opened his books, yet still managed to pass all his classes. No resentment there. In my mind I was just being a good student, wanting to turn in quality work.

Credit – Giphy

I maintained this work ethic well into high school and throughout university. A Top All Around Student Award in high school, valedictorian of my high school graduating class, a scholarship in college. Sometime during my younger years though, I developed a hardened sense of self-discipline. Where it came from, and why I developed it, I don’t really know, though I do have some theories. However, I can recall a pivotal moment when my hardened self-discipline crossed the line into self-punishment. I was 8.

Negative Self-Talk rears it’s ugly head

In Grade 3, during one of the standard parent-teacher conferences (parents meet with their kid’s teacher to discuss educational performance, classroom etiquette, their offspring being a little shit, you name it), my teacher pulled my mum aside to tell her he had heard me call myself stupid. I didn’t do well, or something did not go the way I had wanted it to, but I had been swift and harsh in punishing my little 8 year old self … and had been caught doing it.

Now, I would consider self-discipline to be a fairly admirable trait. But when it’s to the extent you have an 8 year old calling herself stupid because she didn’t do well, it goes from admirable to horrifying pretty friggin’ fast.

To this day, I don’t remember the incident, or calling myself stupid and I don’t believe my teacher would make up such a heinous tale (in my free time I like to tell lies to the parents of children I teach), but it seems I have blocked the event out of my memory. I do remember mum crying when she told me about the conversation once we were home. She took it hard and she took it personally, and interpreted it as though she had failed as a parent.

I notice it more now as an aware adult but she’s been self-critical of herself in the past too, so it’s possible I picked slivers of this trait up from her along the way, throughout my youthdom – not entirely sure that’s a word, but I just used it so hah – deal with it.

I can only speak from my lived experience and my upbringing but when you are 8 and you see your parents cry in front of you, it feels a bit like the sky is falling: You don’t know why it’s happening, you know it’s real bad, you know it shouldn’t be happening and it scares you.

Credit – Giphy

I can’t say my years in high school, through college and university weren’t completely free of my hardened self-discipline either. I always strive to do and be the best I can, but have noticed within my personality (and have had people tell me before) that I am extremely hard on myself.

This negative self-talk has also seeped into romantic relationships, having had a detrimental impact to my connection with past partners. Of course within this context, I believe the negative self-talk to also be a result of low self-esteem and insecurities, but it also includes being unnecessarily hard on myself over trivial matters.

Time I Had a Conversation with Myself

I find it interesting, really. I place pressure on myself to try to do my best and be my best, to be top-notch in my work and how I am as a person, then stress and beat myself up when I don’t hit the target. However, if there was someone in my life who expected perfection out of me, that’s not the type of person I would want to have as a presence in my life. Perfection is unattainable, stressful and unrealistic – if someone were to place those expectations on me, you can bet money on it that i’d metaphorically drop-kick them out of my life.

The same goes for the negative words I call myself on occasion. I can call myself, an “idiot”, “stupid”, “bitch” without batting an eye. But I don’t call my friends those names. So why should I be calling myself those names? At the end of the day, I am my own friend, too. Likewise, if someone were to call me those names, I’d think twice about wanting to spend time with them, and would probably slowly distance myself.

Credit – Giphy

So if I can recognize that a person who expects perfection out of me and/or calls me cruel names, doesn’t have my best interests in mind, then how is it acceptable for me to be placing myself on a pedestal built out of unrealistic expectations and unhealthy self-talk? All in order for me to achieve the version of myself which I strive for, or for me to achieve the goals I set for myself? And when I miss the mark, it causes me stress and anxiety, rather than being able to let it go.

Obviously, I can’t distance myself from myself, as is the case if it were another person expecting and saying the above to me. However, the direction I now face, involves working with what I have and working through it, in order to achieve a more peaceful, positive relationship with myself.

Credit – Giphy

Solutions

1. Look at the Bigger Picture

When I find myself in a situation where I am feeling self-criticism coming on – perhaps I have made a mistake, I am not reaching my goals or my target or the expectations I have placed upon myself, I hone in on the bigger picture. For starters, literally reminding myself that nobody is perfect, including me. I also remind myself that everybody makes mistakes, that I will continue to make mistakes and they are just a part of life.

2. Speak Kindly to Yourself – Terms of Endearment

Next, I begin to speak kindly to myself. This starts by using terms of endearment when speaking to myself – girl, honey, dear, girlfriend, love, sweetheart. It takes a bit of getting used to, referring to yourself as “love”, but what this does is train my critical inner voice to speak more kindly to me. As I have discovered when applying this, my inner voice has a hard time being critical when I speak to myself in a kind and loving manner. Alternatively, I start my sentences with one of the terms of endearment outlined above, before my mind has the chance to go on a negative self-talk rampage. It also improves my relationship with myself. As I said above, I am my own friend, too, so speaking to myself as my friends and I speak to each other, helps strengthen my bond with myself.

3. Forgive Instead of Criticize

I used to beat myself up after I would beat myself up – meaning I would engage with negative self-talk, then get upset with myself for stooping to such a low level. Then I would berate myself again, hold onto it and think about it for longer than the action or thought deserved. Nowadays, rather than jump straight to self-criticism, I am actively training my mind to jump to forgiveness instead. In moments when my brain is quick to judge and to make me feel like crap, I bring myself back to a level of forgiveness. Forgiving myself for making a mistake, forgiving myself for getting stressed out, and forgiving myself in cases when I do use negative self-talk.

By forgiving myself, I am able to engage with all parts of the process, I become proactive in recognizing my detrimental behavior, but even further I allow myself the space and the permission to let the behavior go. I continue to speak kindly to myself, I use terms of endearment, I acknowledge the situation, and forgive:

“Girlfriend, I said some pretty horrible things about myself back there. I know I was in a place of stress, but I recognize that is not an excuse to speak to myself as I did. I acknowledge I made a mistake and mistakes happen to all of us – I forgive myself for using that language when referring to my character and myself as a person.” In this case I used the word “I” to refer to myself, but you can also replace it with “you”.

4. Be Present & Mindful
Credit – Giphy

While mistakes are bound to happen, when I am present and my attention is fully on the task at hand, less mistakes are made. When I used to talk negatively about myself, I’d often not even notice I was doing it. Now I’m working to be more in control of myself, and living more so in the present, enough to notice when my mind (or my mouth) starts spitting out ugly phrases directed back at me.

Not only am I present enough to recognize my own negative self-talk – i’m more attune to honing in on my when my loved ones and friends do it. As I mentioned earlier, I’ve picked up on how my mum has been self-critical of herself in the past. But, it’s honestly astonishing at how many people I care about in my life, belittle themselves, and don’t even know they’re doing it. I make a point now, when they critique something about themselves or call themselves names, to say “no you’re not” or “that’s not true”. Even a small act such as this, despite it being a negating one, might help them to recognize the completely negative, completely false things they are saying about themselves.

5. Recognize Fault as an Opportunity for Learning – not an as Opportunity to Bash Yourself

Part of honing in on the bigger picture also means recognizing that not everything that goes wrong is my fault. As I have discussed before (you can read about it here), feelings of irrational fault are something I deal with and continue to work through. There have been many instances where I have felt like something was my fault, where my mind has launched into a tirade of self-criticism. Often times, these situations were not directly my fault – it was simply how the situation played out, or it was something out of my control.

Recognizing when legitimate fault is warranted, eliminates not only unnecessary negative self-talk, but also consistent feelings of guilty, as well as irrational feelings of fault. I am trying to be more mindful that fault is actually an opportunity to learn for next time – whatever it was you were at fault for, has happened. You can’t change that it happened, but you can ultimately change how you react to it – will you take it in stride and recognize it as a point of learning? Or will you recognize it as a moment to beat yourself up for what went wrong? This is what I am actively working on.

Thank you for reading as always. I hope you enjoyed reading about my experience with Negative Self-Talk and the Solutions I use to combat it! If you liked what you read, give my post a like, hit the Follow button on the top right-hand corner of this post, and turn on post-notifications, so you never miss an LE blog post! Don’t forget to join my monthly email list by signing up below, for updates, bonus content, and recommendations from yours truly!

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May Grounded Gratitude Day 16

Hello friends – is it really mid-May already?⌛️

Hope you have all had a lovely Saturday. I spent mine cleaning my house. Not like Sonic The Hedgehog speed, but just putzing around – vacuumed, wiped down surfaces, worked on some new projects (like cleaning up and moving an old bookshelf outside for my gardening supplies & root veggies that don’t need fridge storage).🧼

I also am feeling better today. I’d say I’m still just okay in my mood, but I haven’t cried today, so I’ll take that as a win 😋

How ya feeling today? Let me know below ⬇️

Featured Work: The Worrying Wife Workbook

Look ma – i’m featured in a thing!



My Instagram buddy and follower of my blog The Worrying Wife has now published her beautiful new workbook with LOADS of fantastic tips, tools, check-ins, affirmations and goodies to get you through this wiggity wack pandemic as well as general times of stress, worry and anxiety. Did I mention it’s FREE?

She reached out to me asking if I had a recipe to contribute …. and I did not! So I quickly got to work experimenting in my kitchen and managed to whip up this delicious green smoothie bowl so I could join in on the workbook fun.

Get all your good green veggies in with my yummy recipe (cucumber? In a smoothie bowl? Who wouldathunkit?? I’m shocked too but it works and tastes refreshing).

Have you tried smoothie bowls before? Have a fave recipe? Comment down below!

May Grounded Gratitude Day 2

Hope you’re all having a restful Saturday! I dragged my butt out for a rainy walk without music or without my phone and I’m SO glad I did.☺️

I was so much more attentive to the world around me. Normally when my music is in I don’t have a chance to observe but after today I realized I want to make a better habit of getting out of my headphones.📱

I walked up a street I’ve never gone and normally wouldn’t because I’m usually on auto-pilot. I paid attention to all the different greens of the trees and bushes, I heard the birds chirping, I enjoyed the quiet when cars weren’t driving by, I admired little details of houses (one had shelves of books I could see from the street in their front room, it honestly looked like a library).📚

What did you get up to on your Saturday? Let me know in the comments below 👇🏻

April Grounded Gratitude Day 28

Hey folks! Grounded Gratitude Day 28 is upon us✨ Grounded Gratitude is a commitment that for every day of social distancing I publish 3 things which I am grateful for. Sometimes there’s new things, sometimes there’s repeats but bottom line is it makes my day and life a little lighter by doing so 😄

I’ve really been reaping the benefits of mindful eating lately – I enjoy my food more, I feel more satisfied with my meals, I enjoy the taste, I am better able to recognize and stop when I’m full. Cooking has become an avenue of creativity for me too – trying new recipes and making new dishes 🥙

Finding joy in changing up small household chores as well – making the bed, changing up the order I do chores in the morning🧹🧽🧼

Are there any small changes you’ve made which have improved or diversified your routine? Let me know in the comments below!