LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!
It’s always easier said than done to eliminate toxic individuals from your life, especially if it’s a family member. However, really cutting the cord will feel good when you do it. It is one of the purest forms of Self-Care I have ever experienced. I would know because I did it myself not too long ago.
A few months ago I unfriended my cousin off Facebook. She was as toxic as they came. Growing up she was incredibly competitive (for what?) and everything always had to be about her. I remember when we were kids, she would force my brother and I to put on these dumb skits and dances at Christmas dinner, and she pretty much always made herself the center of them (normally with backing music to Shania Twain – at Christmas? How country music obsessed could you possibly be??). She generally influenced me to do bad things when I was around her, too, which got me in trouble, and I remember generally coming away from the few times a year I would see her, feeling bad about myself.
My aunt was always about keeping up with the Jones’s (she also happens to be toxic, my mother no longer has a relationship with her – did her own severing of toxic ties!), so this need to always be the best possibly (most likely) wore off on her too. Not surprisingly, my mum has said before that coming away from spending time with her sister, made her feel bad about herself, too.
It had been a few years since I had seen her in person, but nonetheless I found myself starting to play the game of comparison between her and I when I saw her feed pop up on Facebook.
This time though, I refused to be a pawn in her quest to always be the best. So snip she went, and wouldn’t you know it – I don’t pay her any mind anymore.
Of course, you really have to look at the big picture of your relationship with a toxic individual and how it might affect things if you so choose to eliminate them from your life. For me, I was fortunate my relationship as an adult with her had dwindled, but that doesn’t erase my yucky experience with her as a child.
Had your own experience with a toxic individual? Have any tips for dealing with them? Comment below!